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BDSM Terminology

BDSM is something many people are familiar with, and it has a language all its own. Sometimes, the same terms are used in other linguistic areas, such as the terms top and bottom, which means something different with queer terms and with BDSM terms. These terms may change at any time, but as of the time this website was created, these were commonly used in the community. It is important to note that these terms could change at any time, and this is not a complete list. There may be other things that are not present in this listing. Be aware, many of these things may not be your kink, but as we say, not everyone can share the same kinks, and that's okay. What's not okay is kink-shaming or degrading others for what they are interested it. Also note, all of these things apply to consenting adults ONLY.

ABRASION—Using a rough surface against the person’s skin. Often sensitizes the area.

ADULT BABY/DIAPER LOVER (ABDL)—Adult babies are those that enjoy Age play where they are a baby. Diaper Lovers like to wear and use diapers.

AFTERCARE—Caring for all parties after a scene as things come back down to a normal state.

AGE PLAY—Any sort of play that includes age regression of the bottom.

BDSM—Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism

BONDAGE—Physically restraining a partner or a body part.

BOTTOM—The receiving partner in a scene.

CHASTITY—Erotic sexual denial or orgasm denial.

CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT (CNC)—Role play where parties act as if there is no consent (NOTE: Consent is given before play begins).

CONSENT—Agreement to what is going to happen.

D/S DOMINANCE/SUBMISSION—relationships involving psychologically based power exchange.

DDLG (DADDY DOM/LITTLE GIRL)—May include ageplay, Dom takes on the position of a parental figure, the sub as the younger person.

DUNGEON MONITOR (DM)—Sometimes called a Dungeon Master, they supervise and enforce rules.

DOM—The person who exercises control in a scene. Dom is generally male but can be used for anyone.

DOMINANT—The person who exercises control

DOMME—Woman who exercises control, sometimes one might use Dominatrix.

DOM-SPACE—Euphoria Dominants may enter during a scene.

DUNGEON—A room where BDSM is enacted.

EDGEPLAY—Play that includes a chance of harm. It is very subjective to the individual.

FISTING—Placing a hand into the vagina or rectum.

HARD LIMITS—What someone will in no way do.

IMPACT PLAY—using impacts such as paddles, whips, riding crops, floggers, etc.

KINKY SEX—Any sexual act that is unconventional

KNIFE PLAY—Blades of some sort provide sensation, though cutting the skin is not common.

MASOCHISM—Receiving pleasure from the infliction of pain or humiliation.

MASOCHIST—A person who enjoys pain, often with sexual components.

MASTER/SLAVE—Consensual relationship where the Master retains control given to them by another, the slave. Often involves the slave receiving a collar.

MDLB MOMMY DOMME/LITTLE BOY—It may or may not involve age play, involving the nurturing relationship of parent/child.

MUMMIFICATION—Bondage that completely immobilizes the person wrapped.

MUNCH—A BDSM meeting in a “vanilla” location in streetwear.

NEEDLE PLAY—Piercings that are temporarily done with sterile needles.

PAIN SLUT—Person who enjoys intense pain sensations.

PEGGING—Usually a woman using a strap-on dildo with a man.

PLEASURE SLUT—Person who enjoys pleasure and receiving of pleasure.

PRIMAL PLAY—Scenes where one party, the Dominant, acts as a predator while the submissive acts as the prey.

PRODOM/PRODOMME—Male and female professional dominants who charge for services.

PROSUB—A person who will charge to allow others to be their Dominant.

PUP PLAY—Scenes where the submissive plays the part of a puppy.

RISK AWARE CONSENSUAL KINK (RACK)—A philosophy that prioritizes informed consent and awareness of the risks involved.

ROPE BONDAGE—Bondage with ropes.

SADISM—getting pleasure from inflicting pain

SADIST—The person who enjoys inflicting pain, often in a sexual way.

SAFE, SANE, AND CONSENSUAL (SSC)—The philosophy emphasizes that all are safe, all have the capacity to give consent, and all parties consent.

SAFEWORD—A special word a bottom uses to stop an activity.

SCENE—the setting and participation in BDSM play.

SERVICE SUBMISSION—A person who enjoys servicing others in a mundane or sexual way.

SLAVE—A submissive who totally gives up control to their Master/Mistress.

SOFT LIMITS—Limits that someone is hesitant to cross but may be negotiated into doing or trying.

SQUICK—The uncomfortable feeling someone gets when faced with something they’re not into.

SUBDROP—This is a serious issue that occurs when a submissive has undergone an intense BDSM session. It often has cold or flu-type symptoms and can last as long as a week. Aftercare mitigates this risk.

SUBMISSIVE—A person who gives up control.

SUBSPACE—A psychological state that some s-types, submissives, or bottoms may have. It may feel like being “high” for a time. The Dominant must stay in the area and wait for the sub to return to a normal state.

SWITCH—A person who is both Dominant and submissive and switches between the two.

TOP—The person doing the action the bottom is receiving.

TPE (TOTAL POWER EXCHANGE)—A type of relationship where the Dominant has complete control and authority over the submissive and their life.

VANILLA—Someone who is not into BDSM or “normal” sex.

VERSATILE—A person who both tops and bottoms.

WAX PLAY—The top drips wax on the bottom.